They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this one is worth quite a few more. 
15 years, 5,475 days... that's half a billion seconds, and at least that many memories, thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams.
I need closure, but it's pretty hard when you have a picture like this, tangible scars, and vivid flashbacks that can't be stopped. There's no denying that the issue is still wide open. I know I'm stronger, I know I should rise above it, but why is it just so hard?? I know I'm much better than I ever was before, but why is that last little bit of acceptance just so hard??
Happy Valentine's Day.
Feb 14, 2008
15 years ago to this very day...
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There's nothing I hated more than for mom to bring this picture out. So many things went through my head when I saw this... memories and things that in a perfect world would never have been dealt with. I remember all about seeing my big sister , who at 3 years old I thought was invincible, making trips in an out of the hospital. I realized this was something that I have put out of my mind because of how it made me feel years ago- one of those unpleasant thoughts that you try to forget, but its still lingers with you forever. Thinking about how it made me feel doesn't even compare to the your struggles that you deal with everyday. The same struggles that you have been strong enough to endure for the past 15 years. Even though you need closure, there should be relief in knowing all that you've been through. 5,475 days of life is a long journey and a great obstacle that you've made it through. Not one of those days was promised to you. That itself should motivate you to keep your head up whenever you think about that period of our life. You are a very inspiring person to have such a positive outlook on life, even though life hasn't always been easy. So keep living and loving life, after all... we have roughly 25,000 days until we die, so why not live it and make the best of it?
Keep your chin up, Scooby. You got this.
-Nik-
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