Forgiveness

January 30, 2011
It's been exactly one year since what may have been the greatest heartbreak I've ever known.  Someone I thought I trusted lived a lie for 8 months and is resultantly, forever out of my life.  Sometimes forgiveness is a struggle, but then again, no one really asked for it.  For that, I will not apologize.  Happy Breakup Anniversary to a 6-year-long relationship with an engagement ring on top.  As of this moment, I'm moving on to bigger and better things.  

Loving lying enemy

I have seen your face before
Never thought again I’d see
Didn’t want to anymore

I remember your loving eyes
And the moonlit kiss
The evening lullabies I will truly miss
Through the years we had it all
Midnight whispers, the midday calls
This house of cards it had to fall

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

Every time I see you
I can’t help but look away
All along I had believed everything you’d say
When I look now I know I’ve seen your face before
Don’t want your deceiving smile
Standing at my door
And I don’t care what people say
I’m ready now to face this day

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
if you have to hurt to feel

And you ask for forgiveness
You’re asking too much
I have sheltered my heart in a place you can’t touch
Don’t believe when you tell me your love is real
Because you don’t know much about heaven boy
If you have to hurt to feel

- "Forgiveness," Sarah McLachlan



Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps, praying the floor wont fall through
Again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine

You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight
Well I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should have known

Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it's you and you're sick need to give love and take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark twisted games
When I loved you so
I should have known

You are an expert at "sorry"
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town...

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should have known
You should have known

Dn't you think I was too young?
You should have known...

- "Dear John," Taylor Swift

I'm so glad this year is over.  I'm even more excited for what comes next. ♥