... really? Okay.
Doesn't feel like it to me.
Each year, it feels less and less like Christmas, more like some over-hyped day that flies by... even though I know it's not.
Last Saturday began the official Christmas chaos - Christmas at Grandma's with my dad's side. Food, presents, family. We're all grown up now ... it's kind of weird. Grandpa's still gone, Grandma still loves hugs and kisses, there's still the ever-annoying aunt, and this year, my younger cousin is sick with something the doctors have been trying to diagnose since September. We're kind of in this weird phase where the cousins aren't married, no great grandkids, just the same group of people who love each other and give presents because they have to. Ahh, and the traditional endless rounds of Shanghai. It's a Goodwin tradition, and we rock it. It's such a fun thing we do together!
Sunday I wore heels and dress pants to church for probably the first time since hmm, last Christmas? Yep, because I was sick on Easter. I feel bad going to church in casual clothes, but honestly, it's the only thing you'll get me to go anywhere in. Half the time, I hurt so bad that all I want to wear is pajamas and go barefoot. Random and useless knowledge, sorry...
I've felt like crap most of this week. Liver stuff, fibro stuff, back, sleeping problems... stuff's just not working out for me. I did get all the shopping and wrapping done as of today (although I was way ahead on the shopping this year!) so that feels good. And final grades were posted today... as I knew, my GPA dropped. This semester about killed me, so I knew the grades would be bad. But I made it through, and that's what matters.
Tuesday I interviewed for a student nurse technician position. I was a student tech for a year at another hospital starting in the summer '08, but I had a lot of issues with the policies, patient care, management, etc. plus it was a strenuous job on my back, so I claimed "medical leave" and haven't worked since December '08. Since I didn't work for 6 months, they "terminated" my employment in June, but the HR nurse recruiter assured me I was eligible for rehire. Well great, seeing how I despised that hospital. Anyways, I miss it so I applied at a different hospital - a hospital system I've had 2 clinicals at and really enjoy . So we'll see.
Today was crazy. I have my girls on Wednesdays, and today Mom decided to work from home. I left the baby with her and took L Bug to "December Days at the Zoo." My friend met me up there with her 3 kiddos and another 3 she babysits, and her brother, Jonathan's best friend, came along, too. We had so much fun, but it was freezing. L Bug loves seeing animals so I wanted to make sure she had a last time to see them before summertime. We just finished pottytraining, so that's been eventful. Then for Christmas I got her a Dora tent which was a huge hit. We assembled it, and she would only "go potty" on her potty if it was in the Dora tent - her own little outhouse, crazy kid. At the zoo, after Miss Amanda went potty, she started jumping up and down and screaming, "Good JOB, Miss Amanda!!" I love my little 2 year old.
Since last night, I had been craving a pedicure, so on my way home, I was frantically searching every plaza I passed for "NAILS." (The place I usually go to is 25 minutes away, and I didn't feel like going all the way across town.) I went to the bank to deposit my pay, and on my way out, there it was - a sign -"Nail Spa"! I about flew in and had an amazing time. Trying to chill. Trying. One of these days I'll get there...
Currently, I am on the couch waiting for a muscle relaxer to kick in, hoping I get some good sleep tonight, because tomorrow begins the insanity:
Christmas Eve AM: Go see my Nana - she needs Christmas flowers on her grave. This is our first Christmas without her. Christmas Eve afternoon/early evening: My mom's side of the family comes over for a huge dinner, presents, fun, etc. Christmas Eve night: 45 minutes away to Jonathan's mom to do Christmas with her, us, Jon's sister Nicole and her boyfriend. And her yappy dog. :) 45 minutes to my house. Sleep. Jonathan drives 45 minutes back to his house. Christmas AM: Jonathan drives 45 minutes to my house, tons of presents. Too many, actually. Christmas afternoon: 45 minutes to Jonathan's Grandma's house. More Christmas. Christmas later afternoon: Drive some more, Christmas with Jonathan's dad, us, and again, Nicole and her boyfriend. Christmas PM: Special Christmas church service. Saturday: Will I make it that far?
And as crazy as this American Christmas has become, it doesn't even have a single thing to do with the real reason for Christmas. All that work, trouble, effort.... Don't get me wrong, I adore seeing loved ones and having fun with them. I love the togetherness and the traditions. I really do. But the presents and the cramming and the stress? Unnecessary. And it's so heavy and pressing.
God forbid we let it cover the real reason for this day, the birth of a Savior, a Redeemer, a man with a simple plan to save our fallen race. The birth of the Lord who came to live in this awful human world only to hang and die on a cross for us. What in the world could be so huge that it would make our busy minds pass it all by? Christmas. Not the true Christmas, but this hype of a Christmas. Don't get lost in the wrapping paper, the family, the traveling, the insanity. Let this be a time of grateful celebration, of remembrance, of peace, hope, and joy.
Think about it.
Be blessed.
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