Her story

And it's not who you think she is.


He persued me, loving me despite my weakness
He walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death
He held my hand when I cried
He sat with me as I suffocated
He told me it would be okay
He softly kissed me as my soul left my body
He promised for better or for worse
He promised me forever
He let go of my hand
He opened his heart and let me out as I entered the gates of heaven
He wanted someone "whole" - not broken and damaged like me
He moved on
He moved on right after crying at my grave
He didn't know I was still watching him

She was selfish and eager
She took advantage of his mourning heart and cut my legacy short
She doesn't know that sometimes he reaches for my hand and is surprised when he finds hers instead

I'm in heaven, and there are no tears. I'm free from this life that treated me so badly, but still I ache while I want so badly to be happy. Didn't you think our love was worthy of forever? Doesnt every little thing remind you of a memory we shared? Why didn't you lay in bed and cry for me? Why didn't you hold onto my wedding dress and mourn? Why didn't you think of what could have been, what should have been? Why are you masking our love so soon? Out of sight, out of mind?  You know, my grave hasn't even grown over yet.

Looking down, it all makes sense.  Your half of the love was forged.  What else would you do with a damaged wife? I hoped it would have made you stronger, and I believed it made our love stronger.

But I digress.

Didn't you remember what you told me? I closed my eyes and you promised my safety and joy was in your heart. You kissed me and the fear left. That's all I ever needed to feel safe, to feel loved. The love we shared was indescribable.

...or at least I thought so.

...Because you've already moved on. Your heart has found another.

And mine is broken, ashamed, and guilty. I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted. I'm sorry my everything wasn't enough for you.

I'm sorry for everything you've ever done for me, and I think I'll let go now, too. I hope that's what you wanted. I hope you're happy now.

I'm finally, finally free.

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

I believe that only the truest, most beautiful love can outlast time itself.   I wish I had the opportunity to have it rather than the even-worse imposter version. <3